I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
