im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
