I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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