someone threw a dead crab at me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
