Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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