I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
