Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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