guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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