you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
