uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
