I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
