Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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