Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
