it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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