How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
