I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
