got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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