Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
