How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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