Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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