Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Randomize
