Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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