I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
