hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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