**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
