Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
