I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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