I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
