Don't you send me to vm
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
