There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I will pee on everything he values.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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