I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
