she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
