he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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