Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
