Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
