Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
