im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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