Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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