You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
