And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
