I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
