i just wanna soil my oats bro
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
