I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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