I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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