my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
