shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
