If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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