dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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