my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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