I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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