he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
