I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
