State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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