what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
