"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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