is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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