it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize