she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How does one acquire holy water?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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