Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
