dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
